why do i always like to make life even more difficult for me?

The thing is, everytime i think of something, be it a nice fleeting thought, a blissfull dream or a plain nightmare(which i rarely get nowadays since i also rarely dream), everything seems to turn back to one thing. And why is that?? Im asking the question here. I need an explanation....

Can someone feel happy and sad at the same time? be up in the skies and down below? can they? coz i think i am. call me crazy, but i do feel that way.

WARNING. Mood swings are VERY contageous. Its like SARS and bird flu and malaria all at once. One hit from one side causes a huge chain reaction. Try imagining this. 1 hits 1 = 2. 2 hits 2 more = 4. then the 4 hit another 4, which will then bring the total number of hits to 8. try going on like this for another couple of times and see the figure rise.

Thing is, I have been becoming THE catalyst for this outbreak lately. Not to many, but to only one. And that has made all the difference. Lost. Meaningless. Undecided. Hollow. Empty. Drained. Sounds like im dying in love? huh... u tell me. I cant even see straight now.

Been reading Proverbs lately. gonna be finishing the whole book soon. Meaningful. Really. Talks about the wisdom that man can have if faithful. How the wise are always above the foolish. I wonder. Has anyone been as wise as solomon? or was he THE wises person that ever lived? God can really do the works can He? dumbfounded.

Resolution: Make someone else's life more meaningful no matter how much it'll cost myself. I cant stand no longer doing nothing. But what is that 'something' that i can do? God, please help.




If you never try,
then you'll never know,
Just what you're worth.